I woke up today. Its not that I didn’t expect to or that I’m ungrateful for doing so its just that it happened in a new way. I wasn’t actually sleeping when this happened either. Over the past few years, I’ve had moments of revelation; moments when I remembered who I once was over 20 years ago. I was positive, intelligent, blah blah blah, but most of all, I was creative. I enjoyed writing in all forms, and painting, and taking pictures, working with play-doh 😛 and the like. Except for those moments when my creativity would sneak out in a painting or poem, for the rest of my adult life I’d put that part of me up on a shelf out of view and out of reach.
Today, I wake up. I step past the wall that’s barricaded me inside myself. I climb up to the hidden shelf where my old life started and was put on hold and take hold of the pen and paper, my paint and brushes and maybe even the crayons and just get on with it.
Pretending to venture in different directions in my life has aided me in leaving a part of my past behind. Its unfortunate that this part of me got lost in the shuffle, but even without a specific inspiration in mind for tomorrow, I’m so glad to be taking this back. As for the reason for making this public, well, its not about others liking what I do or not, just about being open to the world again; brave like I once was and maybe even bold should the feeling strike. I hope to help others wake up too. There’s nothing spiritual about this. Its simply about regaining one’s self after being lost for so long. Strangely enough, we all knew who we were at one point and regardless of what took us away from that path, I believe there’s no reason we can’t be that person again.
Welcome to my place in the world.
November 18, 2012 at 2:06 am
Couldn’t agree more.. as children we have dreams that have not yet been trumped by reality. Society has us mature to such a state as to define our practical limits, but if we all remembered what it was like to be a kid, our lives would remain so much more fulfilling throughout adulthood.
November 18, 2012 at 12:37 pm
What’s been so mind boggling to me is how distant our sense of that early mindset is from who we’ve become. We’re so often told “be true to yourself” or “do what you love”, but how often do we think about our earliest dreams and desires in a way that seems within our current grasp when in reality its so much closer to our grasp now than ever before.