Sentient Mentality

I think because I think I can

Tag Archives: poem


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Boxed Up in a Circle

I try to see outside
Out the windows through the light and dark
The glare and the shadows
Outside the framework I’ve been given
To understand what this life is and is not

With eyes strained
Fighting the glue holding my lids shut
We hope to glimpse something never witnessed
Never imagined
Never contemplated

In dreams the limits start to break
Corners bend and solids liquify
One wonders if the energies in our minds try to teach us realities
If our chemical make up can talk to us
If the elements we stem from could only tell us their origins and destinies

Its not about the future though
Not even the past
I’m so blind to where we stand today as individuals
As groups
As a race
As a species

The existential picture is forever out of reach
We chase the unknown question to the unfathomable answer around in circles.
As the planet spins, as it orbits the sun we perpetually dizzy ourselves in our minds.

Our circles of friends, of family, of influence
They do nothing to open the box
The one with my name on the label

To each their own box
Pretending their boxes are open
Or feeling locked up inside and acknowledging the lack of light

Forming thought based on learnings
Based on teachings
Based on experiences
All from the tiniest peephole
Carved in the side of our boxes

How can we expect clarity?
Where can we find insight?

Where is the peace when our box dangles in limbo
Twirling like the mobile around the sun
In our boxes
Waiting for the universe to grow up

Finding peace in the balance
somewhere between chaos and nothingness.


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A taste for life

So there I was, turning a blind eye to the obvious, and shoving my future down my throat.

She’s been a best friend throughout my life; comforting me at the worst of times, helping me celebrate the grand occasions.

Little did I know what too much of a good thing could do to a person.  I didn’t realize any of this because it didn’t seem plausible, but the love of my life was making me fat; giving me heartburn.

How many people consider a daily staple the focus of one’s prime reason for existence.  Could you fall in love with air?  What about sunlight?  I suppose if we knew what life was without these things, we’d appreciate them more.  All along, my other brain, (no the other one), was trying to tell me my purpose.  It was speaking through my own mouth; using my own tongue.

Sometimes, I guess, what’s already on your plate, sitting right in front of you, is the hardest thing to see.  When you’re trying to cook up all kinds of other ideas, mashing them together, chopping them apart; trying to find the perfect recipe for your life, its tough to boil it down to the simplest form.

Dearest love, I finally see you.  You and I already make a great team, but I vow to improve what we can do together.

With you there is no limit to what we can experience in life.

You nourish me, sustain me, inspire me.

Its one thing to prepare you every day, and take you in as I need to, its another altogether to give you the respect you deserve and savour your every nuance.  To share you with the world and write about what you’re capable of will be my greatest honour.

© 2014 U.Cohen


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Remember that time…

When it was all so simple;  When it was all so innocent; When having fun was the only concern.

Do you remember

When you drew your first picture; Crayons and glue; And scissors and play-doh, red, yellow, blue?

Imagine that time

When you first rode that bike; When you waited for a moment; When dad wasn’t looking; Just in case you fell.

Do you recall

When you first felt responsible; When you first felt guilt; When you told your first lie?

Does it bring up memories

When you had your first crush; When a smile first made you feel something more than happy; When your gut shook at the sight of her?

Think back

When it all crashed down; When you couldn’t stop from falling deeper; When it made no sense at all.

Reenvision

When you tried to grow in spite of it all; When not much really mattered anymore; When you shut it all out.

Reflect on

When the fog cleared;  When you realized all you’d been through; When you learned to let go.

Could you conceive

When you’d do it all over again; When you thought finding someone meant the end of the search; When you promised to try harder?

Contemplate over

When fun ruled your world; When you stopped trying so hard at everything; When you started to dream again.

Did you foresee

When chance meeting would bring an end to it; When the rollercoaster could finally stop; What the euphoric sensation would actually feel like?

Had you anticipated

When you’d just be yourself; When you’d appreciate her for who she is; When the only thing you’d ever want to do again is create memories together?


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Pardon my abesntia

Pardon me for ignoring you

Its just a little something I sometimes do

I’m not proud of it

Are you perfect?

Pardon my absence

From common sense

My schedule’s all distorted

Where am I?

Pardon me for caring

What you put yourself through

Where you’re headed, where you’re not

What’s the story anyway?

Pardon my love

Its overwhelming of course

I can be intolerable

Pillow fight!

Pardon my absentia

From a clear frame of mind

You do that to me

Pretty much all the time.


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12:12, 12/12/12

What does the number mean to you?

The 12th day of the 12th month at the age of 12… wish I could, but I’ll never forget.

12 bottles in a case of liqour.

Two 12’s in a case of beer.

12 smokes in half a pack, what a way to start the day.

12 inches in a foot long joint or was it 13; what a way to end it.

Sometimes 12 hours sleep in 12 nights.

12 years after wasn’t enough. Another 12 … almost there.  I think its about right.

What is 12?  Just a number?

Where does your strength come from?

A day?  A number?  A name?  A song?

Something meant to be right but ended up going wrong?

I can feel my skull splitting with an urge, a surging need

To empower you with your own history

To make things all right again.

Just to be me.

 


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Stranger

How strange that a stranger should be no stranger at all.

In fact, stranger you can be closer than any friend I could call.

What’s stranger is how strange my friends would look at me

If they knew I’d estranged them just to feel free.

Do I make those friends strangers to who I think I am

Or are they strangers who I call friends who I don’t allow to see.

Is that the same or just strange coincidence

One can put themselves in the midst of a stranger mess.

There’s nothing strange about what I write, it comes from down deep.

Its still filtered for you, but strangely more for me.

 


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Forced words

Forced words never amounted to much

They taste of cud

Regurgitated from some earlier experience

The required no sense of emotion, connection or learning

Merely memory to expose them once again to daylight

You can hear their insincerity like background noise

Impeding the musical experience that is life.

What’s wrong with truth and honesty

Why be so scared of truth and love

You don’t really know either

You’re ignorant and that’s ok

So long as you yearn to learn more

Conquer the fears and allow them to thrust you forward

Into experiences; good, bad, and ugly 😛

For every ten steps back you’ll gain space to leap forward

Be authentic and genuine

Let them know you to the core

You can learn about yourself this way

You can do so much more.

Let the words slip on by

Without analysis, without care

Let them explode from the gunpowder of your love.

Who needs to force words

When there’s already so much to share.

It takes no creativity… only honesty, love, and feeling free to be you.

 


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Taking steps

 

Stringing life together

One lace

Two laces

What’s that got to do with bunny ears?

Things I wanted

I’m starting to take

I’m starting to make

I’m looking forward not back

I did this

And I’ll continue

I’ll take it all and make it all happen

One step at a time

No bunny ears, no rabbit’s foot

Its all me.

But without you, there’d be no reason.


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My friend.

I know you and I know what you want to say to me before you say it.  I get it because I’ve been there too.  Right there.  If I haven’t, well, I wish it’d been me instead of you.  It might not help.  Sometimes I know what you need to hear whether you want to or not.  Sometimes I have no clue how to tell you.

My friend, you probably think the exact same thing.

Sometime before yesterday, it was the day before that, and we didn’t know each other yet.  We were strangers both learning how to be.  Now we know each other and we’re still learning how to be.  Seems as though that’s really the journey.  The journey’s better with you, my friend.  Its certainly worse without you, but I get it.  Whether for a minute or an hour or a day or a week or more, sometimes your journey and mine are not the same. Sometimes we learn how to be in each other’s thoughts for the purpose of feeling like we’re still on the journey together.

Remember that however you think you feel about yesterdays, you’re never done learning.  Tomorrow’s lessons might just shed light on the yesterdays that bother you today.  Even if they don’t, you’ll have one more yesterday’s worth of memories to dilute that old trouble, so make them good, and make them strong, and make sure they’re worth smiling about because those other ones are out of your control.

My friend, you taught me this.  It seems I’ll teach it back to you today, and you’ll remind me of it again when I need it.  This record’s not broken, its just circular.  Sometimes hearing the same song over and over again is exactly what we need, and singing the same tune over and over again helps too.  Inevitably we all remember the words, and inevitably the meaning is engraved in us but with a different impact.  The impact of sharing that time with you takes over from the impact of the words and tunes we share.

After tomorrow, it’ll be the day after, and we’ll both have played a part in each other’s path in life.  We’ll have made an impact and each taken away a part from the other.  In essence we’ll be more like each other than we were before.  I’ll be proud of that part of me that reminds me of you.  I hope you’ll never think poorly of yourself because of yesterdays when tomorrows are so much more interesting to think about.