Sentient Mentality

I think because I think I can


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Boxed Up in a Circle

I try to see outside
Out the windows through the light and dark
The glare and the shadows
Outside the framework I’ve been given
To understand what this life is and is not

With eyes strained
Fighting the glue holding my lids shut
We hope to glimpse something never witnessed
Never imagined
Never contemplated

In dreams the limits start to break
Corners bend and solids liquify
One wonders if the energies in our minds try to teach us realities
If our chemical make up can talk to us
If the elements we stem from could only tell us their origins and destinies

Its not about the future though
Not even the past
I’m so blind to where we stand today as individuals
As groups
As a race
As a species

The existential picture is forever out of reach
We chase the unknown question to the unfathomable answer around in circles.
As the planet spins, as it orbits the sun we perpetually dizzy ourselves in our minds.

Our circles of friends, of family, of influence
They do nothing to open the box
The one with my name on the label

To each their own box
Pretending their boxes are open
Or feeling locked up inside and acknowledging the lack of light

Forming thought based on learnings
Based on teachings
Based on experiences
All from the tiniest peephole
Carved in the side of our boxes

How can we expect clarity?
Where can we find insight?

Where is the peace when our box dangles in limbo
Twirling like the mobile around the sun
In our boxes
Waiting for the universe to grow up

Finding peace in the balance
somewhere between chaos and nothingness.

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Forced words

Forced words never amounted to much

They taste of cud

Regurgitated from some earlier experience

The required no sense of emotion, connection or learning

Merely memory to expose them once again to daylight

You can hear their insincerity like background noise

Impeding the musical experience that is life.

What’s wrong with truth and honesty

Why be so scared of truth and love

You don’t really know either

You’re ignorant and that’s ok

So long as you yearn to learn more

Conquer the fears and allow them to thrust you forward

Into experiences; good, bad, and ugly 😛

For every ten steps back you’ll gain space to leap forward

Be authentic and genuine

Let them know you to the core

You can learn about yourself this way

You can do so much more.

Let the words slip on by

Without analysis, without care

Let them explode from the gunpowder of your love.

Who needs to force words

When there’s already so much to share.

It takes no creativity… only honesty, love, and feeling free to be you.

 


5 Comments

My friend.

I know you and I know what you want to say to me before you say it.  I get it because I’ve been there too.  Right there.  If I haven’t, well, I wish it’d been me instead of you.  It might not help.  Sometimes I know what you need to hear whether you want to or not.  Sometimes I have no clue how to tell you.

My friend, you probably think the exact same thing.

Sometime before yesterday, it was the day before that, and we didn’t know each other yet.  We were strangers both learning how to be.  Now we know each other and we’re still learning how to be.  Seems as though that’s really the journey.  The journey’s better with you, my friend.  Its certainly worse without you, but I get it.  Whether for a minute or an hour or a day or a week or more, sometimes your journey and mine are not the same. Sometimes we learn how to be in each other’s thoughts for the purpose of feeling like we’re still on the journey together.

Remember that however you think you feel about yesterdays, you’re never done learning.  Tomorrow’s lessons might just shed light on the yesterdays that bother you today.  Even if they don’t, you’ll have one more yesterday’s worth of memories to dilute that old trouble, so make them good, and make them strong, and make sure they’re worth smiling about because those other ones are out of your control.

My friend, you taught me this.  It seems I’ll teach it back to you today, and you’ll remind me of it again when I need it.  This record’s not broken, its just circular.  Sometimes hearing the same song over and over again is exactly what we need, and singing the same tune over and over again helps too.  Inevitably we all remember the words, and inevitably the meaning is engraved in us but with a different impact.  The impact of sharing that time with you takes over from the impact of the words and tunes we share.

After tomorrow, it’ll be the day after, and we’ll both have played a part in each other’s path in life.  We’ll have made an impact and each taken away a part from the other.  In essence we’ll be more like each other than we were before.  I’ll be proud of that part of me that reminds me of you.  I hope you’ll never think poorly of yourself because of yesterdays when tomorrows are so much more interesting to think about.