Playing with photoshop, this slipped out of my brain years back. A reminder of the chaos that can grow in one’s head. It made a good wallpaper for a long time. My best art is never intentional. Can’t tell you where it comes from… just emotion escaping me I suppose.
After I’d finished this one, I remember seeing many distorted faces… what do you see?
To date, all artwork on my site are my creations with the exception of my lyrical inspiration pieces.
I know you and I know what you want to say to me before you say it. I get it because I’ve been there too. Right there. If I haven’t, well, I wish it’d been me instead of you. It might not help. Sometimes I know what you need to hear whether you want to or not. Sometimes I have no clue how to tell you.
My friend, you probably think the exact same thing.
Sometime before yesterday, it was the day before that, and we didn’t know each other yet. We were strangers both learning how to be. Now we know each other and we’re still learning how to be. Seems as though that’s really the journey. The journey’s better with you, my friend. Its certainly worse without you, but I get it. Whether for a minute or an hour or a day or a week or more, sometimes your journey and mine are not the same. Sometimes we learn how to be in each other’s thoughts for the purpose of feeling like we’re still on the journey together.
Remember that however you think you feel about yesterdays, you’re never done learning. Tomorrow’s lessons might just shed light on the yesterdays that bother you today. Even if they don’t, you’ll have one more yesterday’s worth of memories to dilute that old trouble, so make them good, and make them strong, and make sure they’re worth smiling about because those other ones are out of your control.
My friend, you taught me this. It seems I’ll teach it back to you today, and you’ll remind me of it again when I need it. This record’s not broken, its just circular. Sometimes hearing the same song over and over again is exactly what we need, and singing the same tune over and over again helps too. Inevitably we all remember the words, and inevitably the meaning is engraved in us but with a different impact. The impact of sharing that time with you takes over from the impact of the words and tunes we share.
After tomorrow, it’ll be the day after, and we’ll both have played a part in each other’s path in life. We’ll have made an impact and each taken away a part from the other. In essence we’ll be more like each other than we were before. I’ll be proud of that part of me that reminds me of you. I hope you’ll never think poorly of yourself because of yesterdays when tomorrows are so much more interesting to think about.
I woke up today. Its not that I didn’t expect to or that I’m ungrateful for doing so its just that it happened in a new way. I wasn’t actually sleeping when this happened either. Over the past few years, I’ve had moments of revelation; moments when I remembered who I once was over 20 years ago. I was positive, intelligent, blah blah blah, but most of all, I was creative. I enjoyed writing in all forms, and painting, and taking pictures, working with play-doh 😛 and the like. Except for those moments when my creativity would sneak out in a painting or poem, for the rest of my adult life I’d put that part of me up on a shelf out of view and out of reach.
Today, I wake up. I step past the wall that’s barricaded me inside myself. I climb up to the hidden shelf where my old life started and was put on hold and take hold of the pen and paper, my paint and brushes and maybe even the crayons and just get on with it.
Pretending to venture in different directions in my life has aided me in leaving a part of my past behind. Its unfortunate that this part of me got lost in the shuffle, but even without a specific inspiration in mind for tomorrow, I’m so glad to be taking this back. As for the reason for making this public, well, its not about others liking what I do or not, just about being open to the world again; brave like I once was and maybe even bold should the feeling strike. I hope to help others wake up too. There’s nothing spiritual about this. Its simply about regaining one’s self after being lost for so long. Strangely enough, we all knew who we were at one point and regardless of what took us away from that path, I believe there’s no reason we can’t be that person again.